Murali Sundaram

My father did not prepare a written speech before Gautam's service. He stood up in front of us and spoke straight from his heart to ours. A few days later I asked him to try and recall his words so that I could preserve them. What follows is not exact but comes close to what was said that day.-- Aparna

Andrew, Michael, and Peter: I thank you for being here and recalling for us your memories and experiences with Gautam. Gautam's friends were such an integral part of his life and contributed so much to his happiness which in many instances we saw directly and in many other instances we heard of all of you from Gautam. I would like to request all of Gautam's friends on behalf of the family,that, if ever your travels bring you to where we are, or if our travels bring us to where you are, you will be able to give us some of your time, because I know that being with you will help us feel and see Gautam.

I do not know what a mother, a father, or two sisters should say when faced with the finality such as is ours. What I can tell you is what we have felt, we have thought, and we have said to each other during this past few days. We will miss Gautam every day of our lives. How else could it be? We know we will not be able to touch Gautam, hug him, or see him as we once did. Yet, the son and brother that he was, with a personality that enriched our lives in the way he lived his, I believe will permit us to see him, feel him, and be with him as vividly as before, only differently.

As all of you know, Gautam lived a very full life with rich and varied experiences. He heard distinctive drum beats and followed them with enthusiasm, vigor, and complete absorption. This applied to every realm of his life, be it scholastics, employment, or travel to the remotest reaches of this world. I believe I would be doing him and his Spirit a
disservice if I am to catalog his awards, distinctions, prestigious fellowships, unique employment opportunities, and his travel experiences, because however satisfactory or glowing the result, his greatest joy and satisfaction lay in the journey. The journey always seemed to matter to him more than anything else, and at the core of these journeys were the people he met.

We were aware that he had a large number of friends in this country and overseas but did not, until these past few days, anywhere near appreciate how many people he had touched deeply and substantively. The letters, cards, emails, and phone
calls have overwhelmed us, as much by the kindness expressed in them as by the stories of how significantly Gautam had influenced lives. Sometimes, the influence was pivotal; at other times they were meetings that engendered an endearing love and warmth. Of all the things that Gautam did that we are proud of, we are most proud of the way he touched other people of all ages. I do not believe I could tell you any of these stories that I have read, because I fear I may falter in the telling. I however will tell you about a phone call I received yesterday or day before.

The caller was a Professor from Columbia University School of Journalism in New York, who expressed his sadness at our loss and then went on to tell me that he was infamous in his Institution because of the clear demarcation he drew between his contact with students in class and lack of it socially. In his 23 years as professor, he said he only had two students over to his apartment, and one of them was Gautam, and that he had had Gautam over at least a dozen times. I asked him why he broke the rule for Gautam. He said that he found Gautam engaging, amusing, provocative, interesting, and always filled with ideas, observation, and humor. I find it interesting that even then, unsurprisingly, Gautam seems to have done all of the talking. This professor then went on to tell me that because of these conversations and encounters, he will always think of Gautam with a great warmth and always,a smile.

As a son, Gautam was everything I could have asked for, so much so there was really nothing that I had to ask of him or from him in life. He was a free spirit and in many ways was what I am not. In being what he was, he gave me and my life a wholeness and richness that I cherished and recall with warmth. To his sisters, Gautam was a friend, philosopher,
guide, protector, playmate, and even a third doting parent. They will draw strength from his memory, his laugh, his pride in them, and his companionship. I have heard it said that the umbilical cord which binds a son to his mother is never, ever severed. I am not quite sure what has necessarily been meant by that. If what is meant is the undimmed, undiluted love that flows from mother to son and son to mother, then we have witnessed it in its greatest abundance and have basked in its glow. Gautam's heart, wherever he was, pulsed with undiluted love and adoration for his mother. Radha felt this, knew this, and will I know palpably continue to feel this and find warmth and strength in her Gautam.

As you have heard this morning, our tradition teaches that the soul is ever blissful; it is pure consciousness and is unaffected by the dualities of life. One takes great comfort in the faith that Gautam's body is transformed into a state of bliss and pure consciousness, not to be ever affected or afflicted by pain, harshness, or sadness.

I ask for your prayers, blessings, and good wishes as Gautam makes his journey.